Hello friends, you know it seems like marriage has become a “touchy” topic for some people. Maybe it’s because I live here in Southern California where some folks believe that their opinions can bend, buy or change reality. Regardless of what we as mere mortals write on paper, God’s laws will never change as He created marriage to exist between a man and woman.
Marriage is often the brunt of many jokes with the wife being stereotyped as a shop-a-holic, neat-freak, or nag and the husband snoring in his recliner, belching and scratching, or driving around lost refusing to ask for directions. While there certainly are times for lighthearted humor, let’s face it, showing disrespect for your spouse is no laughing matter. Many people live with the attitude that it’s their spouses job to make them happy, however since they believe their spouse is failing at this, they will reciprocate the favor. This mentality is similar to the thinking of a toddler. The Bible refers to this type of thinking as “an eye for an eye.” If everyone lived by this “law” then we’d all be blind.
God’s plan is for a lifetime union for a husband and wife to complete each other. You both bring to the relationship exactly what you need. Instead of looking at what your spouse is lacking or complaining about the habits that irritate you so much, try looking at things from God’s perspective. God designed your spouse uniquely for you and knew the kind of person you would need to smooth out your “rough edges.” Just as God is using your spouse to work in your life, if God wants your spouse to be comforted, who is He most likely to use? You!
God wouldn’t talk to your spouse in a demeaning manner, and He doesn’t want you to do so either. Speak to your spouse like God would. (but feel free to leave out all of those “thou shalt not’s” “thee’s” and “thou’s”). Remember, God wants to use you in your marriage to spiritually and emotionally support your spouse.
Can you imagine the transformation that will occur when you begin to speak words of affirmation instead of criticism? It will be amazing! Instead of your home being a place where words are hurtful and used as weapons, by appreciating what God wants to accomplish in your life through your spouse and by understanding the role that you play in God’s effort to minister to your spouse, your marriage will become a sanctuary of mutual protection, care and comfort. You’ll find feelings of safety in your marriage because the relationship will be free from character assassination, and in this hectic and hostile world, there is no greater importance than protecting the sanctity of the marital unit. That can only happen when we put God first at the center of our life, and at the center of our marriage.
You’ll find that you can contribute much more to your marriage by having an open mind – and guarding your mouth. 😉
Dr. Christy 🙂