Hello Friends, you know kids are extremely perceptive. Those precious little ones pick up on a parents feelings far more than most parents are aware of. Nonverbal messages of eye contact, facial expression, tone of voice, gestures, body posture, and the timing and intensity of response are extremely important elements of communication. These nonverbal signals may reveal our internal processes more directly than our words.
Being sensitive to nonverbal communication helps us to better understand our children and allows us to consider their point of view and relate to them with compassion.
You know, in speaking with many women, I hear so many of them look back and are very hard on themselves for what they did or did not do. I think this is human nature, and it’s easy to look back and, with the newly acquired insight, assess that we could have done a better job. However, we can only do something with what we know at that present time. While hindsight might bring insight, it’s not fair (nor emotionally healthy) to beat yourself up for making the choices that you did.
However now that you know more and have learned from this experience, don’t repeat the same behavior because you certainly don’t want more regret. Some women have a tendency to live in the land of regret, and in doing so they are repeating the same things that they originally did which caused them the original regret and pain. Instead of repeating the behaviors that caused you this regret, learn from it, thank the Lord for this insight, change your behaviors and grow. If you find that your needing additional help to make those changes, then don’t be bashful – seek it out. You will be modeling excellent behavior for your children through having a humble and teachable spirit. This is one of the core, foundational disciplines that any mother can instill in her child!
Get rid of the idea of being a “perfect” mother and instead, focus on being the best mother that God has created you to be. Not only is this God’s desire for you, but also science backs it up! (and that just tickles my bones!) 🙂 When your child sees that this is the attitude you have, then they will also be comfortable “putting on” this attitude for themselves. Remember, children live what they learn. So leave your regrets behind – instead learn from them and grow stronger.
Now go love on those little ones and smother them with kisses!
Dr. Christy 🙂