Sometimes when people fail to be there for you, it is easy to isolate, to internally determine, “I don’t need anyone. No one can be counted on to help me. Everyone is selfish.” But that is not the way God meant for us to live.
No one can mature and accomplish their life purpose in a vacuum. No one succeeds without the help of other people. No one learns without interaction with other people and no one can say, “I don’t need people.”
The secret is to recognize that the people you need are healthy, positive, purposeful, spiritual and emotionally mature people. Your relational and spiritual condition are as intricately connected as the natural color of your hair. This is a major problem for many people because they fail to be real with one another.
We often learn about the divine from the fleshly. As John writes, “If anyone says, ‘I love God,’ yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen” (1 John 4:20).
Contrary to what some people say, our walk with God isn’t an unshakable path, which cannot be affected by people. Others matter a great deal in how secure we feel with the Lord. Many people have lost intimacy with the Savior through believers who wounded them in his name. As Job said: “For the despairing man there should be kindness from his friend; lest he forsake the fear of the Almighty.” (Job 6:14).
God created us to hunger and thirst for love, because love is our fuel. And God uses people to comfort us. (2 Cor. 1:4). Why does God’s word say “by their fruits ye shall know them?” Good company and good character will build up your heart.
When you are with healthy people, you will feel more secure, more open and honest, free to express your hurts, pains, frustrations, hopes and dreams, more forgiving, and free to be real. Your love will be reciprocated and the relationship will be mutually beneficial.One of the greatest things you’ll find when you’re with healthy people is you’ll not be afraid of sharing your failures as there will be empathy, love, grace, support and a deeper understanding as well as what to do with it. When God places these people in your life and they impact you for good, you can pretty well know that they are a gift from above.
“They shall bear the burden of the people with you, that you may not bear it yourself alone.” Numbers 11:17
May you know how deeply loved and how precious you are!!
Christy Demetriades, Ph.D.